


Six Degrees

by TheWorldIsYou13



Series: The Devil's Music (Lucifer Songfics) [1]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Lucifer Feels, Poor Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Season/Series 03, Songfic, The Devil has messed up badly folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 21:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17231117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWorldIsYou13/pseuds/TheWorldIsYou13
Summary: After he witnesses the engagement of Pierce and Chloe, Lucifer finally realises something"First, you think the worst is a broken heart..."(Songfic)





	Six Degrees

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another Lucifer fanfiction! Hope you all had a very good Christmas. This one is based upon the song 'Six Degrees of Separation' by The Script - a song I love and when I listened to it for the first time in ages, immediately pictured being able to write something Lucifer related. So here we are. 
> 
> Any mistakes are my own, my good friend DITaran read it for me and helped me solve some minor issues (thank you, thank you!) so it should be good to go.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it. I don't know whether I'll get anything new up before the Christmas break ends and I fly back to Oslo for Uni, but I might. It seems that every song I listen to lately brings up potential fanfic ideas which I might try to put into actual words. We shall see. 
> 
> Bye for now!  
> Emma :)
> 
> (DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, make no money off this whatsoever, and it's all for entertainment purposes only)

_ You hit the drink, you take a toke _

_ Watch the past go up in smoke, ye _

_ Fake a smile, yeah, lie and say _

_ You’re better now than ever and your life’s okay _

_ Well it’s not, no _

_ You’re doing all these things out of desperation _

_ You’re going through six degrees of separation _

 

_ First, you think the worst is a broken heart _

_ What's going to kill you in the second part _

_ And the third is when you world splits down the middle _

_ And fourth you're gonna think that you fixed yourself _

_ Fifth, you see them out with someone else _

_ And the sixth is when you admit, you may have fucked up a little _

 

                                                                                      - Six Degree of Separation, The Script

* * *

 

He barely remembers how or when he got back to Lux that evening, but he finds that it doesn’t matter. He’s sat at the bar in the bristling club, drinking his usual, trying to ignore everything else around him. Usually, he likes the feel of the loud music pumping through his body and the feeling of others being so close to him. But not tonight. Tonight, it’s far too overwhelming and he can’t help but feel claustrophobic. 

He needs space, needs to gather his thoughts alone and as far away from others as he can, and being down here certainly isn’t helping.

With one last swig of his drink, Lucifer decides to retire to his penthouse. He walks through the crowds of people enjoying themselves, occasionally smiling at anyone who caught his eye. In all honesty, he’d rather ignore every single person here, but he’s trying to keep up appearances as much as he can. Despite this, not one of the slight smiles he manages to force out meets his eyes. Those who are sober at this point, or know him even remotely well enough can tell, but no one says anything. They just let him walk past.

When he arrives up at his penthouse, he goes straight to the bar, pouring himself another drink before heading towards his piano. The instrument always brings him some form of comfort, helping him through any unknown or unwanted emotions as he plays the keys, but not tonight. He can’t find it in himself to even open the lid, and his hands are too unsteady to play properly anyhow.

He sighs, feeling wound up; tense. He tries to calm himself down, tries to tell himself that everthing’s alright - that’s he’s alright. Because he is. Really, he is. Truly. The Detective was free to make her own choices and who she chose to be with was none of his business. Yes, he had told Linda that he wanted her to choose him, but she hadn’t and he knows that he has to accept that.

Still, he can no longer deny that his feelings for the Detective have grown into something that he cannot define. He’s not even sure there’s a word that even could.

Lucifer tries to shake the thought out of his head, but it refuses to leave him. He continues to drink, hoping that that might numb the thoughts somehow, but he’s under no illusion of the futileness of it. But it doesn’t mean he can’t continue to try.

Finally, the silence becomes too much for him to bear. He wants to play his frustrations on the keys in front of him, but his hands are even more unsteady than they were when he first arrived up in the penthouse. So, instead, he grabs the remote for his stereo from where it rests on top of the piano and presses the play button. The song fits his mood, because of course it bloody would, and Lucifer holds back a sigh,but makes no effort to change the song, choosing to let the words take him back inside his mind and to the thoughts and memories that got him to this point right now.

_ “First, you think the worst is a broken heart” _

A broken heart indeed. He had been so close to telling the Detective how he really felt, but instead he had been treated to seeing her say yes to a proposal from Pierce - a man that Lucifer knew couldn’t be trusted.

The Devil was a man who knew torture. For eons it had been all he had known, but nothing he could think of was worse than what he had endured during those moments. The notion of having his chance to say his piece, to try and make amends for what had happened earlier in the evening, taken away from him was true torture. It was in that moment, watching them, that the Devil finally understood the true meaning of the word and, from that realisation, he also understood what it meant to feel truly heartbroken.

_ “What’s going to kill you is the second part” _

Everything had happened so fast that it wasn’t until the initial shock of it all had passed that Lucifer had felt the numbness creep in. Even after the Detective and Pierce had vanished from sight, Lucifer had still stood by the window, looking in, feeling too numb to even look away. Part of him had wanted nothing more than to run away and forget everything that he had seen, whilst the other part of him wanted nothing more than to run inside and beg for the Detective - for Chloe - to realise that she was making a terrible mistake.

_ “And the third is when your world splits down the middle” _

Seeing them together like that had made Lucifer realise that he was now powerless to do anything and that the one thing that he had wanted was now lost to him for good. Sure, she would still be around, would still work with him. But how long for?  How long before he found himself out of her life for good? What would he do then? He doesn’t want to go back to hell, but he also doesn’t want to stay here if it meant he couldn’t be with her.

Lucifer sighs again and pulls himself out of his thoughts. He’s too tired for any more of this line of thinking tonight. Instead, he lets the music help him drift away from reality. He feels the words dissolve into him, ready for him to take note of their meaning and significance later. He ignores them for now, however, and focuses on the just the music itself, helping him to find some form of peace on this dreadful night.

_ “And fourth, you’re gonna think that you’ve fixed yourself  
_ _ Fifth, you see them out with someone else” _

The next day, Lucifer decides to try and put the previous night behind him and carry on as if nothing happened. He turns up at the precinct as normal with a spring in his step. He feels much better than he done the night before and his usual smile even reaches his eyes for the first time in over twelve hours. He goes in search of the Detective, wondering what she has in store for him today.

It doesn’t take him long to spot her. He’s so attuned with her now, that he knows he would be able to spot her in a crowd of thousands without so much as a second glance. However, as soon as his eyes land on her, they also land on something - or rather someone - else. She’s with Pierce and they look...happy. In that second, the good mood that Lucifer had forced upon himself that morning disappears and he’s left with nothing more than a sense of longing and heartache. Memories of the night before come flooding back and Lucifer struggles to keep his emotions from showing on his face.

_ “And the sixth is when you admit, you may have fucked up a little” _

As he looks at Chloe and Pierce, Lucifer suddenly realises something that perhaps he should’ve realised much, much sooner. That could have been him and Chloe once upon a time, looking deliriously happy, as if nothing could get between them. The fact that the Detective had been a miracle created to be placed in his path, Lucifer now realises never mattered. Not really. The Detective was human, she had free will, miracle or not.

After their kiss on the beach all that time ago, things could have been so much more between them, but because of that sudden revelation, Lucifer had pushed away, ignoring both his and her feelings and, in doing so, he had inadvertently let Pierce come in and take her away from him.

Last night had been the final straw, though. His obsession with trying to out-do Pierce, cobbled together with the shambles that had been their dinner last night, Lucifer now realises that he had pushed too hard and had pushed her away from him and into the arms of a marriage with Pierce, knowing who he really was and knowing that Chloe did not.

Finally, he finds himself admitting something to himself that he has never admitted before:

He fucked up. Badly.

And because of that, lost any chance he had of being with Chloe and finally being truly happy for the first time in eons.  

**Author's Note:**

> Six Degrees of Separation - The Script (2012) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCT6Mu-pOeE


End file.
